Challenge 3

Okay, admittedly, this last 'challenge' of my internship time is really more of a frustration, but the fact that it is an ongoing and seemingly endless frustration makes it a challenge.

Challenge 3 is having to continually face the uproar about what has become known as 'The Vote'. Now just in case you are not sure what 'The Vote' refers to, it is the social statement regarding sexuality and the statement regarding ordination of practicing homosexuals that were both voted on and passed at the ELCA church-wide assembly this past summer.

Now let me be clear about what is NOT part of the frustration or challenge for me. I am not frustrated if people have a different opinion than mine. I will say this much about my personal beliefs on the matter: if I were frustrated with or challenged by people around me having different opinions and beliefs than me on this issue (or a variety of others), I would have left the ELCA. I believe it is healthy and necessary to have many voices present. Can it be challenging to come together and be productive when there are differing opinions? Absolutely it is, but it is also the only way that all people will be included in the Lutheran body.

No, what I find vastly frustrating is how consuming this one, and I will upset a lot of people here, relatively unimportant issue has become.

It is challenging to hear so often about how wrong this is. It is frustrating to read a letter encouraging people to with-hold money from their congregation until 'the problem is fixed'. It is frustrating to have to put so much of my own energy and time into discussing an issue that is not furthering the ministry or mission of the church or even helping people with their own discipleship, and to watch all of the pastors I know do the same. It is frustrating to have one of the first questions asked of me by most of the people I talk to be, "So what do you think about this vote? What is your church going to do about it?' It is frustrating to think that this has been a consuming topic in ministry since before I went to Japan over seven years ago, and that I truly think it will be a consuming topic for the rest of my career. Mostly it is frustrating that it is taking the focus away from not only sharing the Gospel, but living the Gospel.

For me, the frustration can be pinpointed to the term, 'The Vote'. It is as if this was the most important thing to come out of this or any other Church-wide Assembly. There are many people who feel that the issue of human sexuality does hold a key in sharing and living the Gospel, and I suppose that it does. However, I truly think that anytime you focus on one thing, one issue, whatever it is, that you loose the fullness of the Gospel.

We are a people of God, not a people ruled by sexuality, or social statements. We are called to be DISCIPLES and to WITNESS to a world through our lives. That means our whole lives, not just one part of it.

There are no easy answers or solutions for this time in the ELCA. But after all that is part of being Lutheran. We as Lutherans are constantly caught in paradox. We believe in the sinner and saint, the justified while still being redeemed, and being freed from the law to be slaves of Christ.

I suppose the true challenge for me is to get used to having disruptions in the church like this, since I don't think the human desire to be 'the right one' will ever go away.

Challenge 2

One aspect of being a pastor in a multi-point parish that I had not counted on was having to arrange so much of my own time.

I suppose I just never thought about it. I mean teaching, especially in middle school, is very structured. There was maybe 5-8 hours a week that was not previously accounted for, and very often that would be taken over by one event or another. I never had enough unscheduled time to get all the planning, grading, research, mentoring, or prep-work done.

This is one way that my previous career left me not quite prepared for this particular role.

Other than some weekly meetings, and of course, Sundays, how I spread the work out during the week is up to me. For someone who has never been a great scheduler, this is a bit of a challenge. Making it even more interesting is having one day that is meeting intensive, and the other days are often completely blank and waiting for my scheduling abilities to take over.

This would be tricky on its own, but added to it is the fact that I work out of the house. There isn't really a central office. We have meetings at the various congregation's buildings, but each of us has an office at home.

Let's put it this way, having an office at home for me is like setting a ten year old in front of a a live sport game, a video gaming system playing his favorite game, and a box full of playing puppies and telling him (or her) to do homework. A child wouldn't even need to be ADD to be easily distracted.

Well that is me. Easily distracted. Did I turn the stove off? Are there still clothes in the wash? Oh, I forgot to put the trash out! All those questions that get shoved to the back of my mind when I get to work no longer have an opportunity to get placed in the back of the head.

Figure out a schedule for the week.

Figure out how to follow the schedule without getting distracted by being at home.

These two aspects of my internship would be cakewalk for many people. For me they are challenges. Not challenges that can not be handled or adapted to, but challenges just the same. add to it the sometimes overwhelming schedule of the parish and some days it takes me an hour or two to figure out what to do that day.

Yet that is what internship is for. To help each person figure out what he or she will have to be aware of in their own work life. Well I definitely will have to be aware that scheduling my own time is not something that comes naturally to me. I absolutely love it when there is so much going on in a week, that I am grasping every free moment to get the office and paper work done. That is how I function best. However I am learning to schedule my own time in a less distracting and more productive manner.

Challenge 1

"What has been the biggest challenge for you?"

This is the most common question that I have received from everyone about my internship. It seems everyone wants to know what has been difficult.

I suppose this is because when people ask me how the internship is going, I go on about how great it is. Now let me be clear. This does not mean that I do not have challenges from day to day. I promise that I am not living life looking through rose colored glasses and only seeing the positive. It simply means that I am learning a lot and enjoying the process of that learning. And yes that does indeed include challenges and difficulties along the way. However, I like to see those challenges in a positive way. They are after all part of how we learn and grow as people.

Yet there are three things that do take up a lot of energy and time. These are the things that can drag me down a little bit. They are still part of the learning process and have great results, but wipe me out emotionally, mentally, and physically.

The first of these challenges is the schedule. Okay, I admit it, schedules are always hard for me to adapt to. The more complicated a schedule is the harder it is for anyone to figure it out. That is normal. (I hope!) Believe it or not the schedule of a church has a lot more to consider than Sunday morning services and education classes. There are also mid-week Bible studies, youth events, visitation, and counseling, council meetings, committee meetings, various other events, and then any out of the ordinary occurrences from day to day. Realistically though this is no crazier than a school schedule. BUT, and yes it is a big but, that is for one congregation.

Prairie Star is an area parish with 5 congregations, and an education/retreat center. So there are five Sunday services and Sunday schools, 3 confirmation groups, 4 women's study groups, 5 council meetings, plus the Prairie Star council, various quilting groups, community Bible Studies, 4 area high schools, many different towns and town events, and that is not including anything that is going on at Shalom Hill Farm (the retreat center). It is enough to make my head spin, which it has been doing for several months now.

I am not complaining, mind you, merely sharing with you some of the ins and outs of rural ministry. This is what any Pastor serving more than one congregation experiences. I have simply not completely adjusted to it yet.

Do I like it? Absolutely!

Is it exhausting? Beyond belief!

Is it worth it? More than I could ever explain.

(More to come on the other two challenges!)

Winter Surprises

My first experience with the true surprise of winter was last November on a retreat for my worship class.

I was prepared for the cold 10 degree day that had been forecasted. I was layered and bundled and had extra clothes in the car just in case. I was a little excited actually because it would be the first day I would get to wear the new down coat I had bought on clearance earlier that year.

While I was loading the car that morning, I noticed an odd sensation, almost like a building sneeze, but after rubbing my nose the sensation was gone and I was busy and afraid of being late so I thought nothing of it. Later that day as the class moved from one building to the next, the strange sensation would occur again and again. It was as the sun was setting that I finally caught on to what I was feeling.

You see in Minnesota, (and I am sure various other places as well) breathing in the winter is dangerous to one's health. The air gets so cold, that when one breathes in through the nose, the air instantly freezes said nose's hairs. There is no real worry that first time because the hairs defrost again during the exhale, if the exhale is done through the nose of course. By the third time air has been pulled through the nose though, even the tiniest amount of snot that may have been present has now been freeze-dried and has become thin little flakes that tickle the nose as air is sent out. At this point the nose is being tickled upon breathing in because it is being frozen, and upon breathing out because of these paper thin flakes of freeze-dried snot. It is quite the experience let me tell you.

But wait there is more! After the 5th or 6th attempt to breathe, the body has begun to rally to the nose's defense. This defense is that liquid rushes into the nasal cavities. I suppose this keeps the delicate skin from becoming frostbitten, however it also means that the nose begins to drip and leak like a faucet that has been unattended in a dank cold, basement for fifty years. A normal person's reaction is to sniff. So now there are frozen nose hairs and lots of frozen snot in the nose. A moment of this and soon it becomes difficult to breathe through the nose.

What to do? One has to breathe. (I have tried avoiding this compulsion. Sadly it does not work.) So again nature takes over and one opens the mouth and takes a breath. Fabulous. Freeze-dried lungs. So breathe through your scarf nimrod, that's what real Minnesotans do! One might think to one's self.

Ahhh. Finally a normal breath! All is well.

...Until the moisture from the breath begins to collect in the scarf and work its way through the layers to the other side. Once it has reached the other side of the scarf and touches the air, the scarf begins to freeze.

Plus, now the nose is really leaking and it and the lip are so numb from the air that one can't tell that it is escaping the nose and freezing to the upper lip.

Of course it is hard to tell by this point if it is snot frozen to the face, or if it is the tears that have been forcing their way out of wind tortured and half frozen eyes.

Trust me, by the time one gets back into the warmth of a 60 degree room one thinks, All that to get the mail?

***The intention of this is to find humor in the reality of harsh winters. I promise I am doing well and my nose, eyes, and lips are still all functioning properly!

I Need a Hero

I watched the movie 'Doubt' last night.

I found it to be an engaging film, but in what I found to be a disturbing way. It definitely has a postmodern edge to it. Truth is obscured by the point of view from which it is seen, and the raw human-ness of the characters keeps the viewer not sure who they like and who they dislike. It is the opposite of the comic-book type movie that has been so common throughout the history of film. There is no hero in this movie. No one person working for the good of the others. Instead there are many people doing both good and bad, often for their own good, not for the good of others. In short it is a pretty accurate read on human actions.

'Doubt' is brilliantly acted. All of the actors did phenomenal jobs. Incredibly believable. It pulls the viewer in and makes you struggle and think. It is an excellent film.

But I need a hero. I need to believe that people can at times put aside their own needs for the common good. I need to see examples of people through whom the light of Christ shines.

This does exist. We know it does. How many examples have we seen of real life stories where people do this? Even if a story is merely a work of fiction I need to know that we as a human race have not lost hope in the good of humanity. I need to see that we as humans have not lost hope in the ability of God to work in this world.

It is not that I am still looking for my hero. I long ago found my hero in the person of Jesus Christ. I just need to see that others in the world are still searching for Jesus. After all what is the movie hero other than a pale reflection of Christ and his saving act? Movies, literature, art, so many of are pop-culture events, are the result of a search for truth, purpose, hope, and salvation.

For Christians these searches lead us right back to God. And our command in this world is to help others find the answer.

Art like 'Doubt' presents an answer that lacks hope. It lacks salvation and redemption. It presents this world as all there is. A 'this is it' mentality that tells us that good and bad are relevant to a person's view of the world. I suppose for people of this world that is true. But for people of God, there is so much more.

We are not lost in a world where 'this is it'. We live in a world of hope. There is hope in the good of the Heavenly Father, for God alone is good (Mark 10:18). There is hope in the good of the Kingdom of heaven that is yet to come. And there is hope in the brief glimpses of that Kingdom that shine their light on us here in this world. We see it all the time. In the face of the child who gives something of theirs to a person in need. In the forgotten pages of history where enemies helped each other. In the amazing stories that come out of despair. The nun who brings a face to the faceless. The country that unites peacefully to save thousands from concentration camps. (Denmark) The desperate alien who stays with the helpless accident victim, knowing it means deportation. The community of mere hundreds that raise thousands to help people in need. There are glimpses all around of hope, of truth, of redemption. It is real.

As wonderfully created and acted as 'Doubt' may be, it is not 'good'. It's lack of hope comes from people that do not know they need a hero.

I need a hero. And I praise God everyday that I do.

Light in the Darkness

'The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it." John 1:5

I love Christmas, I truly do. The whole season, both the Christian and secular traditions. The trees and wreaths, the ribbons and colors, the treats and feasts, I love it all. And the lights. I love the lights. Growing up I loved to drive around town and look at all of the decorated houses, especially the ones on the lakes so we could see the lights reflected in the water. (Okay not lakes, the man-made ponds in housing developments.)

I confess however, that for the last several years I have thought we should move the celebration of Christ's birth to be in the spring or fall since historically that would be more accurate. Then we could just have winter. Maybe have a midwinter celebration. Not a popular idea and one I would only mention in select company, and NEVER to my brother-in-law.

It is funny how a new location can change your perspective though. Living in a place where the sun sets about 4:45 and does not rise until almost 8 am, I am beginning to understand the reason that the call was made to celebrate Christ's birth at the darkest time of the year (in the northern hemisphere anyway).

Christ is our light. A light that the gospel of John tells us can not and will not be overcome by the darkness. As the people in northern climates lose the sun's light, having the light of Christ's birth to focus on seems ideal. After all don't we see light best through the darkness? Don't we feel the warmth and clarity of Jesus' life and love the most when we are struggling out of our darkest places.

So maybe Christmas on Dec. 25 is not historical. I am learning to let that go. Celebrating the brightest light in the world at the darkest time in winter makes sense. It brings hope, and isn't that the message of the Christmas Gospel? The hope the Christ child brought for salvation?

Preparation

Advent.

A season in the church year that is beautiful because of it's subtlety, expectation, and it's quietness. This is the way the church begins the liturgical year. No giant celebration, no great feasts, or festivals, but with gentle and quiet preparation.

I have been reflecting on this season in a different way this year because for the first time I am playing such an active part in planning it. As I prepare for each service, the preparation for each service brings out a stark revelation that I have never been truly aware of before. We have adulterated the season of Advent as much as we have the season of Christmas. We have twisted it to be about us, about what we can do, about how we can prepare for the coming of Christ.

This has become more and more apparent as I have read the texts for this week. Malachi 3:1-4 speaks of one who will come who is like a refiners fire, and like fuller's soap. Both of these things include preparing. The refiner's fire prepares silver and gold, burning away all of the impurities until it is a precious metal able to be made into a working object. Fuller's soap is a harsh soap that was used to bleach away all of the impurities in fabric preparing it to be used for fine garments. Both of these objects are used to make something ordinary into a thing of extraordinary value. Yet the value of the refined and cleaned object is not only because it is refined, but also because it is now usable. These ordinary things in life have been prepared for great use.

It is a fitting passage for Advent, a time of preparation. But we have taken Advent to mean what we do to prepare. The Malachi passage speaks of the one who is sent, our beloved Lord, as the one who will do the preparing.

Yet then we turn to Luke 3:1-6 and we hear John the Baptist tell us to prepare the way, prepare a highway, make this flat, tear mountains down and fill up valleys. We get excited about this of course because if there is anything we know how to do it is to tear things down and then cover over others. After all that is how we have been making roads and the way for kings to travel for centuries. We can do that. Yet when we look at our history, even just the brief period of history that Luke writes of in those first few lines, what we see is a path of destruction and brokenness left behind a human ruler who was hungry for power and control.

If I am sure of anything when it comes to our God it is that God does not work as we think He will. When in history has God ever done what was promised in a way that the people expected?

With that in mind it makes perfect sense that this time of Advent is another paradox in our faith life.

Prepare the way of the Lord, but be aware that you can not be the one who does the preparation. Make the highway straight, but the road Jesus will travel is not one made of human hands. Every mountain will be made low, every valley filled, but only God can tear down our high defenses and fill our empty holes and broken souls. Prepare everything to be precious in God's sight, but Jesus is the one who will be the refiner.

God is the mover in our season of Advent. God is the one who prepares us. Our Lord sits with us as we live through the refiner's fire, shaping us and burning away all of the impurities until we are so pure and precious that, just as silver does when it is ready to be removed from the fire, we show the reflection of our maker.

Make you reflect the preparation of our God the Advent season.